Destressing, getting fired up!

Just completed my final exam, what a relief! Now I'm packing up for the Europa weekend. My good friend is competing in the amateaur mens masters and its time for me to put a 2nd coat on his back...awww, the smell of protan brings back fabulous memories! Helping him through all this and being by his side makes me want to compete even more. I can't wait to meet some of my favorite pro's and don't worry lots of pics to come! I also can't wait to meet Doidle(Mary)! Yall have a great weekend!

Here we go...

My before pic was taken when I moved back home after living a destructive lifestyle in Austin. Upon moving home I was depressed and ate whatever I wanted, when I wanted. The before pic was taken sometime around either Thanksgiving or Christmas 2005...I was seriously dazed and confused during this time of my life so its hard to recall. In Austin I had a trainer more off than on and went to the gym occasionally. Often times I would skip meals, sleep in late, and consume lots of alcohol(working in the bar/club industry). I do know September of 2006 I signed up at my current gym(Dang Gym), worked out everyday, but never progressed as a result of poor diet and lack of motivation. In January 2006, my gym hosted a "Biggest Dang Loser" contest. Any contestant who lost 20lbs in 12wks, won 3 free months of membership. I finally got serious by incorporating what I had accomplished with BFL in years past and info I received by analyzing journals on bodybuilding.com. At the end of the contest I had lost 18lbs, I was bummed I didn't lose 20 but definitely took the 18...I went from 154lb to 136lb in 3 months! March 2006 I started lifting with a female personal trainer by the name of Tacy, who might be reading this:) We worked out well together, first time I actually lifted heavy and started to make gains. I should note it was around this time I started lurking more at Stacey's blog and wanting to know more of her experience with Tony. Around October I stumbled upon Beka's blog and then I was sold. I thought if these two hot chicks are both satisfied I will give Tony a try for 1 month. I began my journey with Tony in November 2006, weighing at 145lb. After completing 6wks with Tony and making great progress his words were, "now if I could just get you to compete". I had always been told I had the body for a bodybuilder, not figure, my legs were supposedly "too muscular and big for figure". Tony completely disagreed and could see me transforming into a figure competitor. From that point I had planned to compete April 28th at the Ronnie Coleman Classic, but my long-time boyfriend at the time suggested we get married in Vegas march 31st. We got married and I competed in my first and only show so far on May 12, where I surprisingly won! My after pic I weighed b/w 113-115lb, the lowest I have ever weighed in my life. I only see myself weighing that for contest reasons only. In person I looked anorexic and had worked my tale off literally. The best part was the night before the show, our hotel room had floor-ceiling mirrors everywhere. As I practiced my poses and reapplied paint, I just couldn't get over the girl staring back at me in the mirror. My girlfriend who had accompanied me asked, "hollie did you ever have cellulite?", hahahahahaha Oh did I ever!

As for as the first time I felt in shape? Not until I started doing daily 1hr walk/runs did I know I was truly in shape. I had always wished to be a runner, for it not to hurt and to actually enjoy it.

Ok I must leave to do my second hour of cardio before the gym closes. As much as I want to get on the gauntlet,my glutes are hurtin from the heavy machine lunges in last nights w/o, so I'm not sure what kind I'm going to do, maybe I will just run!

When I get in I promise to stop by all of yalls blogs! I'm feeling highly motivated and mentally strong today. The carb cycling is going super, no cheating whatsoever! Its amazing how clean eating makes you feel emotionally, isn't it?! Adam called today and we will get to talk the next couple of days! He's in Dubai right now and tomorrow he's going to a waterpark with some buddies. I can just imagine how white he is from being stuck in the bottom of the ship all this time, poor white boy is going to fry in that sun. I don't feel ready for my final yet and honestly I probably won't feel ready the day I take it. Ok I don't want to think about school, time to burn some fat off!

BUSY, BUSY,BUSY

Thanks for all the comments! I look forward to answering Eileen's questions as soon as Tuesday rolls around. Last weekend and right now I'm working 15hrs days, preparing for my summer final exam which is this Thursday,looking for a place to live, and prepping for a contest. I desperately need to speak with my husband regarding my upcoming living arrangement and purchasing my new car, but every email I've sent him for the last 2wks has been returned. His ship must be in an area where they can't receive email, this so stresses me out. I shouldn't be on here right now, but I didn't want yall to think I disappeared. Today is day 2 of no carbs, on Tuesday I get my carbs back due to carb cycling. Weight workouts are going great, but with such long work hrs I'm having a hard time getting in all the cardio. Enjoy Yall's weekend!

Yes I once was a chub

I can't believe I'm posting this, but this reminds me to never give up on my passion for fitness and health. I'm also hoping that many can see that it is possible to totally change the shape of your body with hard work, courage, and discipline.

I'm bummed today is Friday, only b/c I dread my job on the weekends. I went into work last night for extra hours and didn't get off until after 2am. This morning my body was too exhausted to do fasted cardio so instead I'm going to do more cardio this afternoon. I didn't wake up until 11am and if I ran for an hour on an empty stomach I definitely wouldn't get in all my meals for the day. It sucks b/c I have to get up before 3am tomorrow for work, don't ask how I'm going to make it to bed tonight. I need to be working as much as possible in order to pay for school and a car next month. I'm starting to stress out about finances, making an A on my final exam in a couple of weeks,if I'm going to move closer to school and where exactly, and getting in all of the extra cardio. To tackle my stress I'm going to simply doing my best each day, that's all I can do and hopefully everything will fall into place.

Tony is "happy" with my pics, YAY I can breathe now! He said I don't have to start doing 2 hrs of cardio until next week and that we would probably start carb cycling at the end of this week. I'm relieved to start carb cycling 1)asparagus is killing my wallet 2)more definition coming my way 3)doesn't take much time to prep food! At night I've been having sweet cravings and no way to satisfy them, sucks to not be able have SF popcicles or SF jello even... and NO Tony, a thick protein shake is not going to kill the craving! I've considered posting some up to date pics of me, but I'm so nervous, we are always our worst critics...give me a week or two.

My inner thighs, hamstrings, and glutes are so tight and tender from Monday's w/o. I love how Tony combines just the right exercises to hit just the right spots. Right now I know I could squeeze a lemon b/w my thighs. I think I read a while back that Stacey leg presses 500# or over, Im trying so hard to catch up with her I'm at 450#X6reps right now...could this be why I can't get up without moaning and groaning?

Any of you watch Rock of Love on VH1? I love the show and love "Rodeo". She is in the latest issue of Oxygen mag and competes in figure. I just hope I can have her body at age 39. I'm also a stupid sucker for watching Age of Love. In the episode before last, Maria was making a shake and Isagenix was on the counter...and damn if she don't look good too. Lets see I also watch Big Love, Traveler, Army Wives, and my ultimate fave is So You Think You Can Dance. Call me a cheese ball if you will but I love my tv and DVR.

I've been super busy with training, school, work, and prepping meals every day. Other than having a peach yesterday the diet has been right on. It was either dig into the families Blue Bell Homemade peaches and vanilla ice cream or cure my craving with a icey vanilla/peach protein shake. I've since gone broke due to buying asparagus every other day, but in all the diet I'm on is working for me and with me.

Today I sent T today's pics I'm hoping he likes what he sees. My abs are becoming more and more visible and my legs look so much better this time around compared to my last show. Even though my diet for almost 2 months was a wreck, I believe continuing with the heavy leg w/o's and the sprints helped my legs progress.

From this week on 2 hrs of cardio are a must! For the first time in probably 5yrs or more I tried the step aerobic class at my gym. The class was so much fun and I discovered what great shape I am in...sounds silly I know, but I never really understand or see it. I'm still getting in my 1hr walk/runs every day that I don't work, but in the pm I'm going to mix up the cardio with step class, stairmaster, and gauntlet. Those are the only types of cardio that gets me sweating and the heart rate up, of course while being jacked up the green tea extract. I've been suffering with golfer's elbow lately and it kills me to do biceps or pulldowns. To heal, rest is recommended but I can't afford it, so instead I just pop 2 advil and ice my arm after every workout.

This time last week I got word from Adam that instead of coming back from deployment mid-October he won't be home until Nov 29th. I'm really bummed, but this is out of our control and there is no need to dwell on the matter. For the Christmas holidays we are looking at going to Jamaica. This will be a good time for us to have some alone time and enjoy being a married couple. I will have to make sure not to gain much fat during my bulking phase this fall/winter, don't want to be a whale on the beach. The trip will be perfect for me to catch up on all the summer alcohol drinks I've been having to pass up so far. Upon returning from the trip will be a great opportunity to start cutting.

I'll try my best to report here more often. Its time for gym visit #2 today. By the way my eggs have never been so beautiful thanks to yalls advice!

Eye on the prize

Why does peeling egg shells have to be such a big pain in my butt? Of course I'm jacked up on green tea extract when my patience starts running thin. Tony sent me my new meal plan that starts today and it looks like I will be shelling eggs every dang day. My mom says they shouldn't be so hard to peel if they are not as fresh as 1-2days from the grocer. Do any of you have any suggestions? Half the time mine come out pretty and smooth, but half the time they come out rugged.

For post-weights T suggested that I try "Jay Robb's Yammit" as my carb mixed with the PP. In the past I haven't been using a MRP, but PP +apple. I picked up "Jay Robb's Vanilla PP" to mix with the "Yammit" and OMG! When I mix the two in the blender, add pumpkin spice, sprinkle of cinnamon, 12oz H20, and lots of ice=tastes like a sinful treat! Now I simply can't wait to push some iron.

I've been "clean" for 4 days and it feels GREAT! Last night I really had the test put to me. My dad needed my mom to pick him up out of town since he had to leave his chopper in the shop. My mom hates to drive, especially in heavy traffic on major highways, so I had to accompany her. After picking up pops he had to have a margarita... I am a margarita lush well in my past exciting life! So we went to Pappasitos, sat at the bar, rents had their special margaritas, chips and salsa, and chicken & shrimp fajitas. I didn't have one chip, one bite, or one sip. Instead I looked up and down the bar,noticed no figure models, no fitness enthusiasts, nothing but overweight people. I imagined my trophy sitting across from me at the table. My dad asked if I wasn't hungry, I replied, "I have my eye on the prize!" I very well could have taken in the aroma, felt sorry for myself, or like last week could have told myself, "oh I'll start over tomorrow". No, I refuse to throw away my focus, my 3 days of clean eating, and definitely not my 2nd trophy. Its moments like last night that will get me a winning physique. I figured if my husband can't eat fajita and ritas right now, I can wait until he gets home. Right now I'm just going to keep making each day my best. I'm reminded of the video T sent out a couple months ago about giving your best, well I'm applying my best in every aspect of my life, one day at a time.

On the home front we are changing out computers and will be having to mess with our network sometime today. Hopefully I will be able to join cyberspace on Sunday. Yall have a great weekend and stay strong, remember "Time waits on no one"

Peace

Nap time

I just got in from work early, yippee! All of yesterday was spent studying for my woman's studies midterm. After the test was taken I still had to write reviews over two essays, which put me in bed at midnight so I could wake up for work at 3am. Needless to say I'm going to shower, take a nice nap, and hit the gym for today's leg workout.

Today I must send T my current photos that for some reason I keep putting off. I'm not going to lie, I have had my binging moments. I'm still getting in extra cardio and hitting the weights hard. I miss the Isagenix terribly and really want to integrate it into Tony's meal plan, but he says no. I still feel the Isagenix helped me deal with my cravings. After the cleanse I failed to keep my head on straight. Today is a new day and I can't change yesterday. I have a bad habit of jotting down my scale goals for upcoming weeks, instead I need to focus on making each day my best. A female trainer at my gym signed up for MsFit's challenge and would like me to join her, if its not too late I plan on signing up after my nap. The contest will end 2 wks after my last comp for the year, another reason to not binge following the show.

Friday I received a phone call from my husband!!! It is very rare he is able to call me and if he does call I better have my phone attached to me. He won't return from the middle east until late October :( He requested that I have some meat on me when he gets back, his actual word was "chubby"! Don't think I let that one slide, I told him to never associate my name with the words chubby, chunk, or plump! All my life I've been called thick, which I don't mind so much now, men like thick. As long as my body is tight and fit, I really don't care what you call me. My husband was out at sea during my May comp and never knew how tiny I actually was, he thought I was small enough in this pic taken March 31st.

Time to listen to my hypnosis mp3...

Lost 9lbs in 9 days!

Sorry I haven't posted in so long. I finished my cleanse strong, 9lbs lost! I still feel good and want to continue the program. Tony feels like I shouldn't continue with the maintenance program until I'm done with competing for this year. I was really getting used to the shakes and I feel they definitely suppress my cravings or the urge to overeat. Yesterday for the 4th I brought along my own turkey burger with WW buns and big salad. The meat everyone else was eating was cheap and gross, all I could think about was how nasty and greasy the burgers and dogs were. I did indulge myself with moms homemade vanilla ice cream, but unlike times before I was able to cut myself off from it, oh and i couldn't eat all of my burger. So overall the 9day cleanse 1)helped me shed some of the weight gained back from my last show 2)made me more aware of ingesting toxins in the future 3)suppresses my cravings. During the cleanse out of a mindless habit, I stuck my head in the fridge just looking for something to stuff my face with, but I actually stopped and realized nothing sounded good and I wasn't really hungry. Also I mindlessly went after the Tostitos, only to eat just 3 and be satisfied, this is so not me I eat whole bags, hehe. I find myself not wanting to eat packaged cookies and candy, b/c of all the preservatives and junk they are made with. Now I want to eat nothing but whole foods, defintely no fast food. I'm still going to drink the Ionix Supreme, b/c its just too awesome to not take.

As for as competing goes, I'm just not going to be able to do the Europa. This is not only b/c of my current physique, but due to work schedule, my education, and my finances. Last weekend I worked 15hrs 2 of the 3 days. One of the days I had a paper to turn in online by 10pm, my brain just couldn't work with such little sleep. Have you ever been so exhausted and had so much to still do, that you just sit and cry? Well that was me. Prepping for a show means I must train 7 days... 4 days won't cut it. I'm still going to go to the Europa for fun and motivation. Instead I'm going to compete in the Heart of Texas Figure show sept. 15th. This will be the last show of the year in my area then I will go into my off season!!!! Although I put in for a job transfer within my job, my work hours should not be so long where I won't be able to train.

Right now I'm still training hard and getting in extra cardio. I haven't talked to Tony much lately, we keep missing each other. I realize he has a lot going on with his dad's illness, but I feel like he has been out of touch more lately, even before his dad's news...is this just me? Anyways I successfully conquered his challenge yesterday!!! I was worried I wouldn't be able to b/c it has been raining consistently here for 3 wks straight and my gym was going to be closed for the holiday. However I woke up early to no rain, power walked outside for 30min, walk/run for 1hr, and finished with a 30min power walk...first time ever to do 2hrs cardio consecutively, go me! I will try calling Tony tonight and see what the game plan is.

I have a midterm and a long assignment due this Sunday night, so if I don't get on here its b/c my head will be in the books and my butt will be in the gym.

Just found this!

As if I don't feel great enough b/c of my cleanse, I now feel euphoric, take a look...

http://thesecret.tv/secret-to-you

Cleansing Day2

I started my Isagenix 9 day cleanse yesterday. Honestly it hasn't been as bad as I expected it to be. Anytime I felt really hungry the snack wafers held me over. The berry cleanse drink doesn't taste bad, this surprised me. If I thought I peed too much before, drinking 2 gallons of water a day, that was nothing compared to now. Today I feel great, no weakness, and not hungry. The best part is I have had no cravings and no desire to scavenge my pantry. I take that back, the best part so far is the Ionix Supreme. The Ionix did not come with the 9 day cleanse, I had to order it separately. This stuff is amazing! I started taking it on Saturday and since then I sleep so good, I have more energy, mental clarity and focus, and I'm less bitchy. I worked over 12 hrs each day sat-mon, and this stuff I had to be why I kept my sanity. This morning I took the Ionix prior to my 1hr fasted walk/run, my runs on the treadmill were 7.5-8 and my 15sec sprints were up to 9.0!!! This was done effortlessly, the fastest I have ever ran for such a long duration. Just so you know, the Ionix doesn't give you the shakes or make your heart race. Can you tell I'm sold on this stuff?! When I first heard of Isagneix I thought it was all a money making scheme and couldn't be as healthy as they proclaimed. Once I heard Tony approved of the program, I became interested. Yes, the people that sell this stuff are aggressive, but now I know why, it makes you feel so dang good. I'm now wanting to tell everyone around me about this stuff and possibly ditch my job for good!



I can't tell you enough how much I hate my hours, all because its sometimes impossible to get in a workout. Not being able to workout twice a day, really hinders my progress when preparing for a competition. At this time I'm really not sure if I'm going to be ready for the Europa show. This show will be HUGE, lots of great competition, coming from all over the US and Canada. Regardless I will go to both the pro and amateur shows and the supplement expo. I want my body to be tight and badass for when I take pictures with some of my favorite pros. That being said, if I'm all lean and tight, why not compete?! I'll know for sure in the next 2 weeks. Financially, I will have more responsibilities coming up in August that could interfere with competing...fall tuition/books and purchasing a nice,used car.

WTF?!

ARgh! I just lost everything I typed and it was long! I went to preview, edit, and nothing was there but the title! I don't have time for this! I'm off to do my grueling LEG workout, maybe I can use up this frustration I'm feeling!

If YOU ever think YOU can't do something...

take a look at this http://cjcphoto.com/can/

Water weight continues to go down!!! Everything has been going as planned. For the past few days I was on the high protein/no carb/healthy fat plan(pretty much all fish), today my oatmeal tasted like heaven! Having no carbs those days felt kind of good, I didn't feel so heavy. I work Sat-Mon 4am-3pm on my feet the entire time. Today I'm trying to get everything in order so that when I get off work, I can hit the gym, hit the books, and hit the bed. I hate my schedule, I hate getting up at 3am! Most of all when on this schedule, my gym is not yet opened for me to get in fasted cardio, and I don't feel safe running on the streets here at 2am. The hardest part is getting my butt to bed early on Friday, like 6pm is what I shoot for, but most of the time I don't fall asleep until 10pm. Thank goodness I only work 3 days out of the week. The days I don't feel like studying, I ask myself if I would rather be working, but the real answer is, I rather be cooking or at the gym :) If you must know, I work at a wal-mart grocery distribution center, so yeah, I have to look at food ALL 11 hrs! Its the sugary cereals and peanut butter that make me want to drool all over myself. Only reason I work there, the pay is good and it works with my school schedule...all the more reason to make good grades and graduate asap! So today I tried a new, yummy chicken marinade I found here http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Pretty-Chicken-Marinade/Detail.aspx. I try to watch my sodium, so I used very little of the soy sauce. I grilled the chicken on my fabulous williams-sonoma indoor grill and the chicken turned out better than expected. I'm always trying out new marinade recipes, I have to keep the chicken interesting, I know all of you can relate. Also I cooked two lean-turkey loafs, once again low-no sodium. I will keep one for the week and freeze the other one for later use. My house hasn't smelled this good in so long. I am so welcoming the flavor back into my diet, too bad not for long. I still need to eat, get in my back workout, tan, and study more. Have a great Friday and enjoy your weekend!

Thanks Yall

WOW! Blogging seems to be just what I'm needing. Everyone's support and motivation has been with me these past couple of days. Yesterday I accomplished everthing I intended to do...extra cardio and absolutely no cheating! Just to give you an idea of how much water I've been holding on to, this morning the scale read 6.4lbs less than Tuesday. Today has been great so far! Don't get me wrong I feel a craving every once in a while, I know this is b/c my body had gotten used to all the crap I was forcing down before. The heat is really starting to rise here in Texas. Last week being constantly full and feeling the affects of the heat, was plain miserable. Just stepping out the front door reminds me to stay clean and stay focused. Weeks leading up the show I was all about running in my sports bra and shorts (something I had visualized doing for years, but couldn't b/c I was a chub). Now that it is really freaking hot outside, I can't b/c of my water/fat gut...soon though, very, very SOON!

Welcome to my blog

It is about time I stop lurking at everyone else's blog and set up my own. I am a TonyDiva and find it motivating to read all of the other diva's blogs! I've been with Tony since last November. Even though they don't know me , it was Stacey and Beka's success that made me take the leap of faith...a leap I wish I would have taken sooner. With Tony's help I competed and won my first figure competition May 12th. I won 1st in my class and overall figure champion. The show was not a national qualifier, but great for getting my feet wet. I had hoped to do a show 3wks later, but decided the Tuesday before to pull out, I was mentally burned out and needed a break. As you fellow competitors know, prepping for a show, you are constantly going and your mind never stops racing.

The bad news and the main reason for starting this blog...my eating has been COMPLETELY out of control for 1 month!!! I am a sugar addict all the way! Each day I promise myself, write out goals, and prepare to be 100% clean. Unfortunately I am an "all or nothing" kind of gal. If I eat one brownie, I think the day is screwed and continue to eat bad. I used to never think like this, I was in control and completely focused...I've lost my mojo. I miss being the "machine" that didn't think once or twice about putting that naughty bite in my mouth. The "machine" who automaticly got out of bed each morning and put on her running shoes, there was no thinking to it. Right now I feel like a huge blob. You would think I would be happy to have my boobs back, but not having them meant I was lean and mean. I realize most of the weight I'm carrying is water weight. For the June 2nd show I was sodium loading, then when I decided not to do the show, all I consumed was sugar and I never sodium depleted (you get the picture). Tony is aware of most of this, but not he doesn't realize how bad I've fallen off the wagon. I'm getting back into doing my weights. I did sooo much cardio pre-contest, that I just don't want to think about it.

I want to do a show Aug 10th, the Europa in Dallas, only 9wks from today! I know I can do this, I just need my focus back. I believe if I added in my daily morning 1hr walk/runs, eat 100%clean, and visualize non-stop I would be able to pull off this added weight in a couple of weeks. I so badly want to have a collection of trophy's and swords, I can see them lined up on my dresser now. This Thursday is payday and I absolutely can not wait to order my Isagenix 9day cleanse. I continue to research forums and blogs and I get excited just reading everyones positive feedback. Until the cleanse arrives I intend to pull off some of this weight so that by the end of the cleanse, I will be closer at reaching my goal weight. 4wks out from the Europa I would like to be satisfied at where I'm at, just so I won't have to literally kill myself witht the cardio before the show.

So yeah, I know what I want, I just have to put the plan into action. Today has not been perfect, but from here on out I'm going to make a strong effort to win myself another trophy. I still have a leg w/o to do tonight...gotta love those lunge lifts! "No hurt, no skirt"!

Keep in mind I'm new to this and I'm still trying to find the best way to post pics on here. The above pic was taken backstage at my May 12th show. I refuse to post a current pic and weight. However I will be posting daily pics and measurements while doing the isagenix cleanse. I look forward to all of you keeping me accountable!